I interrupt your agreeable Law Engagements with a Bagatelle. Our agricultural Society have desired me to review my little Book on Plaister of Paris, for Republication; as it [is] out of Print. I wish to add all the modern Facts I can procure, but find everybody lazy & uncommunicative. I have been 2 Years endeavouring to collect Facts out of Loudon County Virginia (as there must be some Balm in Gilead) but have hitherto failed. It is only when the Maggot bites, or to relieve Ennui, that I get at such Subjects. In a Postscript to a Paper on Gypsum, Page 316 of our Ag: Memoirs, I mention your Success on certain Parts of the M. Vernon Farm; & add—"Mr L. Lewis who holds Part of the M.V. Estate, has lately percieved a luxuriant Produce of White Clover, on Corn Hills on the low Lands, which had, in the General's Time, shewn no Signs of being benefitted by the Plaister put on by him; & which now operates, tho applied many Years ago."— So I understood you to say— But, in a Letter, I recd from Col. Pickering, he tells me, that in a Conversation with Mr Lewis, the latter said I was mistaken. If so, I will not repeat the Assertion; tho' similar Results have fallen under my own Observation. Set me right if I am wrong; or confirm what I say. In your appellate Jurisdiction, you do both.

I have had a busy Winter in the District Court. Day before yesterday, I went thro' the Tail of the Storm in Olmstead's Case, against the Reps¹ of the Owners of the Privateer Girard. Executor upon Executrix—'till I wished all their trix at the D——l. I must have more of it, to prepare it for your progressive Cogitabundity: For it does not seem likely to end with either you or me. So that I might as well have wished the Parties, litigant & termagant, at Washington; which, in the Opinion of the Elect in our State, is the worst Place of the two. I have now & then a little Sunshine to irradiate the Gloom. Your Favorite, Sam: Levy, serio-comically, affords bright Glimpses & Corruscations. I had, last Week, a Sailor Case of his; which (as you dote on Law Reports) I will give you, as nearly as I can recollect one so profound, literally. It was the Case of—

Splitting Hairs

A summary Proceeding, & not in Court, tho' there some merry Proceedings occur, occasionally.

The Complainant (so legally & corporeally) a Mariner, declining now to proceed in Rem—cited the Owners of the Jefferson Indiaman, to shew Cause why Process should not issue, for 5 Months Wages. The Ship had been taken into Calcutta by a British Cruizer; &, after having been detained a long Time, was cleared.

Defence. The Mariner was disabled from Duty, during the whole Period for which Wages are claimed—by the venereal Disease—Proof—very minute—&, in De Tail—much inflated. No Dispute about what was contracted: And it was agreed that the Sailors shipped by the Month; & not by the Run.

S. Levy & Complain[an]ts. It is impossible for me to rebut this Charge, not having had Experience in such Cases; & it may be doubtful, whether your Hon—r has had competent Knowledge, to decide the Degree of Disability. Much is said about the Ship's Loss & Expence. If she suffered—so did we— If she was taken in—so were we— Sailors, in the Course of their Voyages, have many hard Rubs; & so must Owners have too. But we must enter into the Subject alleged to have produced the Disability, by Proof of Capacity—or not—for Duty.

Complainant's Witnesses proved—his working 2 Days—idle 3—working 4 Days—idle 2— Watch at Nights &c. &c. &c.—till Patience & Gravity gave up the Ghost.

Judge— Mr Levy! I cannot spare the Time to hear more on this Subject— I have much Bussiness pressing on me this Morning. You must agree, that a considerable Deduction should be made from the Amount of your Claim. Like Referrees, I must split the Difference; & allow but one half. It is a Case which repels much Nicety of Examination; & one in which I cannot split Hairs.

S. Levy (Peevishly) I am sure, Sir, you know that I never make a Practice of splitting Hairs.

Judge. I am glad you are warned by your Client's Misfortune. The whole of this Controversy—thus protracted—has been occasioned by his Fondness for Splitting of Hairs.

Decree for Half Wages—Acquiesced in—& no Appeal to Court of Review—quod deplorandum est— If you should turn this grave Proceeding (for it really was chiefly so) into Levyty— I can only say—Honi soit qui mal y pense— Red in the cold Blood of black-lettered Jurisprudence, it is a simple Note of an insipid Decision. yours very truly & affectionately